31 Days of Halloween- Day 15

31 Days of Halloween
Title: Forever Manor
Author: onesweetbell
Rated: M
Pairing Bella and Edward
Word count: 9316
Picture prompt #15
Summary: After a tragic accident, will Edward be able to heal Bella's heartache before it's too late?
A/N: Thank you to my twifey and beta, ManiacMotherland. Without her guidance, I would be lost.
Orgionaly this started out one way but as it progressed I found myself in another direction. As they say, follow the inspiration where it takes you. So this is where it took me. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to all things Twilight. Just a need to twist a few characters to fit into my love of Halloween.
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Forever Manor
I have watched and waited for years.
Tonight was the night.
Tonight, I would finally make her mine forever.
"Come on, Bella, hurry up," Jessica screeched as we made our way through the makeshift parking lot.
"I'm coming," I mumbled angrily, trying to not stumble on the gravel that was crunching below my feet, which was a little hard to do considering it was dark outside.
"What's wrong, baby girl?" My friend Tyler asked as if he didn't know.
They all knew but somehow pretended that the last year had not happened. Hence, the reason for the outing tonight. I had not wanted to come, but when your so-called friends ganged up on you, sometimes it was hard to say no.
I looked up at him, the full moon reflecting in his dark eyes.
"I'm fine, Ty," I lied.
He threw his arm around my shoulder as we made our way to join the rest of our friends.
"It will get better," he told me. "How about for just one night, try to forget and have a good time. Do you think you could do that? Just for a little while?"
"Sure," I nodded. "I'll try."
That was a lie, of course. They just didn't understand how it felt to lose everyone and everything that mattered to you in this world in an instant, leaving you all alone. How could they? They still had their families. But I would put on a happy face for them and pretend I was enjoying myself, even though I would rather have been at home, curled up in my bed wishing the last year had never happened.
"Wow!" Exclaimed Angela. "After all these years, it's still just as spooky"
"It's still the same old shit," Mike groaned. "I don't know why you guys insist on coming here every year. I still think we should have gone to Marcus' party. This joint blows."
"Oh shut it, Mike," Jessica scolded him.
"I'm thinking he still scared after all these years," Tyler smirked.
"Shut the fuck up. I am not. I was eight years only, man. That would have scared the shit out of anyone, dickhead. Besides, you're the one that pissed your pants."
"I did not! It was my drink that pissed my pants!" Tyler protested. "And you hitting me with your elbow!"
"Knocked it off, you two!" Angela shouted. "This is tradition, so suck it up, 'cause we're not leaving."
"Oh my God!" Jessica screeched again and stopped walking. "Do you see that? It looks like they put in a real moat this year."
We all stopped and looked to see what she was talking about. There seemed to be a pool of water surrounding the front of the old manor. I wondered how Alice had pulled that one off.
Memories of old times flashed through my mind as I stood there looking up at the old three-story house.
Through the years, we had all heard stories of the Old Cullen Manor. The family had owned this parcel of land for well over a century. Each generation building on or rebuilding the old castle-looking home. About 60 or so years ago, there was another house built on the other side of the land with all the most modern amenities, which is where the new generation of Cullens still live.
My father had told me that, when he was little, the old manor had been fixed up and every year since, the Cullen's would hold a haunted house there for the Halloween season.
The first time I was allowed to go, I was in the 6th grade. It scared the crap out of me. First, it was a scary-looking old house, then when you got inside, all the creepy and horrific things surrounding Halloween were there. They would even get some of the high school kids to dress up and frighten the piss out of anyone else who dared to enter the house.
As I got older and meet Alice Cullen, we would be first in line to dress up and become monsters or what-not, so we could have our turn at scaring the kids. It was fun then.
Over the years, the Cullens would move away, but then years later, a new generation would show up. When my father was just a little boy, he told me that when they were gone, Old Man Cullen had left instructions to have the town open up the manor once a year, for Halloween.
No one saw them again until I was in ninth grade and the new generation of Cullens moved back. It had been close to forty years that the place had been vacant, aside from the cleaning crew which would show up every few months, and for the few weeks in October every year.
For all the mystery surrounding them, the Cullens were really great people. I'll never forget the first time I met Alice Cullen. Sweet, bubbly, and very determined to do things her way. Needless to say, we have been friends ever since.
Alice, my friend, Alice. The last time I saw her was at the funeral. I shook that thought away, remembering what I promised Ty, just in time to her Jessica screech again.
"Oh shit! Isn't that Edward?"
"Where?" Angela asked turning her heard back and forth trying to find him.
I turned to see her pointing to a gondola-type boat that seemed to be floating across the water. I could see a figure standing up, but I couldn't see his face, until a cloud moved from over the moon and there he was. Even though he had on a dark-hooded cloak, I knew that beautiful face. I could feel my breathing pick up as I took in his perfect appearance.
I had a crush on Edward Cullen ever since high school. If I was ever honest with myself, I had been in love with him, but I never told him. He was a few years older than Alice and I, so we only had a year together before he went off to college but I would see him whenever he would come home to visit. The last time I saw him was about two years ago, the summer before my second year of college. We actually became friend, and over the years, we would write or email.
The last time I had heard from him was before my parents….
Okay, time to stop Bella. Stop. Don't go there. Pull back. Pull back to a safe distance.
Blocking my wayward and morose thoughts, I kept my eyes on Edward, watching as he used a long stick to push the little boat closer toward us.
When he was a few yard away, he looked up and made eye contact with me. It was like he sensed I was there and only had eyes for me. As soon as he pulled up to the little dock to stop the boat, I finally heard his voice. It was still just as magical as ever.
"Hello, Bella."
"Hi, Edward," I said bashfully.
What? Oh lordy, he still makes me nervous.
"I was hoping you were going to show up tonight."
"Yeah?" That piqued my interest.
"Yeah. I mean… after all, this is the last night," he said with a little smirk. "I know you guys have a tradition up hold."
"Oh, that's right."
Stupid girl. He just wanted to make sure you saw the manor before it closed for the season.
Of course he would know about our tradition. However, what he didn't know was that this would be the last time I would be around to see the place.
"Hi, Edward," Angela chimed in. "It's nice to see you."
"You too, Angela. Hey there, Jess. Guys," he said with a head nod. You know that bobbling thing guys do when they're trying to be cool.
"How about I take the girls over first?" Edward queried as he reached his hand out to Angela to help her into the little boat. Then he turned to do the same with Jessica.
When I stuck my hand out towards him for help, he surprised me by grabbing around my waist. As he lifted me up, he pulled me closer to his body.
I could feel the coolness of his body even through the thick cloak he was wearing. That was something that I would always remember about Edward, and his family for that matter. No matter how hot it got, they always seemed to stay cold to the touch.
As I slid down his body when he released me, I swore I heard a moan pass through his lips, which in turn made me gasp in surprise. I quickly looked up at his face. With a smile and a wink, he turned me around and told me to sit.
I must have had quite the look on my face, because Angela mouthed "what". I couldn't answer so I shrugged my shoulders.
What was that about? What was he playing at?
I guess I would just have to wait and see. I tried to calm myself because I didn't want to get my hope up. It wouldn't matter, anyways. This could all just be a friendly gesture. But that moan sure wasn't. I wonder if anyone else heard it.
As Edward pushed up across the moat, he began to talk to me more in depth.
"So, Bella, how are you?"
So this was how it was going to go. I had to brace myself for I knew what was to come.
"Okay."
"Sorry I didn't make it back for…."
I cut him off. I didn't want to talk about my parents' funeral.
"Hey, no worries. Your mom said you where traipsing around unknown parts and were out of contact."
"Something like that," he muttered.
Hmmmm? Perhaps he has a secret or two, I mused.
After reaching the other side, he helped us out.
"Bella, would you mind waiting? I would really like to show you around, and maybe perhaps, we can get caught up at the same time?"
"Uhhhh," I wasn't sure how to take that. I looked over at Ang and Jess to see both of their heads nodding yes, so I agreed. "Ummmm, yeah… sure."
"Great! I'll be right back." Then he took off to get Mike and Tyler.
"What was that all about, Bella?" Jessica started in.
"Oh, he probably just wants to talk. We haven't seen each other in a few years. It's no big deal," I lied.
I lied because it was a big deal, but I didn't want to give it away that I was actually a nervous wreck in side. Edward and I hadn't seen each other in a few year, but we had emailed up until last year. Wonder what he had to say to me?
"Well, it sure looks like a very big deal to me," Jessica continued. "If Edward Cullen wanted me to wait for him, I would be a panting mess right about now."
"Cool it, Jess," Angela told her. "Remember, they have been friends for years. That's all."
I could always count on Angela to have a level head about things.
"However, Bella, the way he was checking you out, oh my. Looks like you're in for some fun times tonight," she gushed as she waved her hand in front of her face like a fan.
"What the hell are you talking about, Ang? He doesn't see me as anything more than his little sister's friend."
I really had no idea what she was talking about. I don't recall him checking me out. I think I would have notice that. Right?
"Well, from the look of things, he seems to think little sister's friend is all grown up," Jessica chuckled.
"Oh, knock it off you two." I was getting embarrassed.
Yes, I had a thing for Edward, but surely he would not have the same feeling towards me. I didn't want those girls putting things that were not real into my head.
I mean, look at him. All tall and sexy and built. All the girls and even a few guys threw themselves at Edward ever time he turned around. I thought back to high school and realized he never had a girlfriend even though there were plenty who wanted him. Sometimes he stood off by himself or with Alice and me. I wondered what happened when he went off to college.
When he came home to visit, he never mentioned anyone.
I tried to clear my head to these thoughts before he came back with the guys.
"Have fun tonight, Bella," Angela spoke. "This is why we brought you out with us tonight. You have been spending too much time alone. Please just live a little. Life is too short."
"You don't need to tell me that, Ang," I hissed through my teeth. "I know perfectly well how short life is. Bury your family and you learn this real quick."
I was getting mad. Why did she have to go and bring it up again? I knew all too well how short life was, and would be more familiar with fragility of life and death soon enough.
"Bella, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," she pled. "Please don't be angry with me."
I knew she meant well, but still it hurt. I nodded my head to let her know she was forgiven, but I just couldn't look her in the eye. I felt the tears just wanting to break through, but I wouldn't let them. I didn't have much time to dwell on it, because Edward showed back up with the guys.
"Hey, Seth!" Edward called out to a boy who looked to be around 15 that had been standing by the front door. "Would you mind covering for me? I think that might be the last, but the people still in the house need to be taken back across."
"Sure thing, man," the kid answered back while taking the cloak from Edward.
"Shall we head on in?" Edward asked.
As we all head into the house, I took a good look at Edward. He had on a black Tshirt that was tight around his toned, muscled arms and black jeans that seemed to fit him just right.
"See something you like, Bella?" he said with a smirk.
Damn, I just got caught checking him out.
I quickly turned my head so he wouldn't see me blushing.
We all made our way into the house. Edward stood to the side of me with his hand on my lower back as we took to the stairs that led up to the front door. I figured he was just trying to be a gentleman and help guide me.
As we passed the foyer toward the living room, I could hear organ music.
Organ music. Hmmmm, that's new.
The living room was covered in spider webs and candles causeing little shadows throughout the open area. There seemed to be a fog machine in the far corner, making the room feel like you were outside by the lake in the back late at night. The effect was absolutely creepy.
I also notice that on the other side of the room there was an old organ set up and sitting on the bench in front of it was a figure in a dark jacket with a top hat on. This person seemed to be the one playing. Or maybe it was just another prop.
We had been standing there for a few more minutes listening, when Angela said they wanted to check out the rest of the house.
"My parents are in the kitchen, and I'm sure they would like to see you," Edward told me.
"Yeah, okay," I said to him.
I really did want to see his parents. It had a while and I missed them.
"We'll catch up with you all later," he explained to my friends.
As he led the way to the kitchen, Edward reached back and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. It felt nice, but I had to control myself so I wouldn't get overly excited. I knew it was just a friendly gesture.
Standing in the middle of the open kitchen was Edwards's father, dressed in a corduroy blazer and dress pants. I wondered who he was supposed to be. I took in the rest of his appearance and it looked like he was wearing a brown, short-haired wig. It covered his beautiful blonde hair. Nope, still have no idea.
"Bella!" Carlisle called out to me. "It's so wonderful to see you.
He walked over to me and pulled me into a big hug. I relished in it. It had been so long since I felt the arms of my second father, my second family.
Yes, that exactly how I felt about Carlisle and his wife, Esme. Like family.
"My darling, Bella!" I could hear the sweet sound of Esme and suddenly needed to be in her arms as well. "Such a pleasant surprise that you are here!"
I tried to hold back the tears as I felt her arms wrap around my body as she pulled my in to her. Hard but soft, and so familiar.
"Oh, Emse," I tried to say more but the tears were had weld up and spilt over.
I had not seen them in over six months. Not that I didn't talk to Esme every few weeks, because she would call just to check up on me. But seeing them in the flesh, knowing that they knew everything and had been there to hold me when I had no one else. Well, I can't explain it.
No, that's not right. I knew why I was feeling so emotional. I had made a decision, one that I would enact in just a few short weeks. This was goodbye. That's why it hurt so bad right then.
After a few minutes of her telling me that it was okay, and that everything would be fine, I knew I needed to get myself together. One last time I would put on a show. The show must go on, as they say, just for a little bit longer. Before the big day when I finally offed myself for good.
"Bella, are you okay?" Esme asked as I finally released her.
"Yeah, I fine," I nodded my head as I wiped the tears off my face. "Sorry. I'm just so happy to see you is all."
"Well, that's alright dear. We have missed you too."
I stood back and was able to get a good look at her. Every year, she and Carlisle would dress up for the holiday as well, in complementing outfits.
I hadn't notice that she had also been wearing a wig; this one was very curly blonde that was a little long in the back. But what she had on for clothes threw me.
"Esme, why are you only wearing a man's dress shirt?" I briefly hoped that we hadn't caught them in a compromising position, but then I remembered that Carlisle had been fully dressed.
"Don't you recognize me? I was a big hit in the '80s," she beamed.
"No, sorry. I'm a '90s child, remember?" I laughed.
It felt good to laugh; I hadn't laughed in such a long time.
"Mom, what is that god-awful smell?" Edward then asked, crinkling his nose up in disgust.
"Oh, just a little something I have been boiling," she chuckled. "Bella, how about you come and help me."
"Sure." I followed her back over to the stove to see what she was cooking.
I had to agree with Edward, whatever it was stunk to high heaven.
As I looked over at the pot on the stove, I could see something hanging out under the lid.
On closer inspection, it looked like a furry foot.
"Esme, what the hell do you have in there?"
She was standing off to the side with a big wooden spoon in her hand.
"Oh, that's my rabbit stew. Would you like to try some?"
Rabbit stew? You mean like "I will not be ignored" psycho-bitch rabbit stew?
"Ummmm, Esme, not to knock you cooking but how come the leg is still furry? Aren't you supposed to, uhhh…. strip the fur…first ?"
Holy shit it just hit me. Her costume.
"Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction!" I cried out. I remembered that movie. Alice and I had watched years ago when it was on TV.
"Yes, I am," she laughed. "I always wanted to make rabbit stew."
And I laughed with her. Afterwards, we stood there talking a bit about school and stuff, when we heard Carlisle's voice grow loud.
"You need to tell her, Edward. Alice has seen it," he said to Edward.
"Carlisle, enough," Esme scolded.
Wonder what that was all about.
"I will," I heard Edward say, not really sure if I was meant to hear it or not.
"Hey, Bella. Let's go take a walk," Edward said in a tone that seemed like it I didn't have a choice in the matter.
"Ummmm, okay."
As we made our way toward the back door, Esme called out.
"Bella, please just listen to what he has to say. Please, dear. We love you."
Okay, so this night is getting weirder.
We stood outside in the backyard in silence for a while. I thought he wanted to go for a walk, so I was surprised when he pulled me to sit down with him on the edge of the patio.
I was starting to get a little cold because it was a cool October night. I was wondering how long we would just sit here when he finally spoke.
"Bella, I have something to tell you, but I'm not sure how to start."
"Just say whatever it is you have to say, because I'm getting cold sitting out here," I blurted out.
I might have sounded a bit pissy, but I was cold and wanted to get back into the house.
"I... um... shit… Bella, I love you," he finally spit out.
Say what?
"What?" I was not sure if I actually heard him correctly or not. "Come again? What?"
"I do, Bella. I love you. I have always loved you."
No, this can't be happening. Not now. No no no. I made my choice. I am here to say goodbye.
"Why are you telling me this?" I hissed out.
He had really pissed me off with this revelation. Why now? Why not before. He was messing with my plans.
"Because I had to. It was time."
"What do you mean it was time? Why couldn't you tell me before?"
"You weren't ready."
"Ready? What the fuck is that suppose to mean? I wasn't ready when my heart was broken and scarred? Don't you think I could have used that information especially when my parents died? I was so frightened and alone. Why now?" I cried out. "Just leave me alone!"
How could he do this to me? He left and when I need him the most he wasn't there.
"Bella, please," he begged.
"No, Edward. You don't get to say I love you to me. You left me to suffer. It's too late."
"Baby, no… it's not… it's not… Please, I have more I need to tell you. I know you will understand after I tell you. Just, please, hear me out."
Baby? What the fuck? Why did I like the sound of that?
"What? What-the-fucking-what? What more could you possible say, Edward, that would make me understand all of this? Understand how you could just leave even though you say you loved me?"
He was silent for a few minutes, like he was trying to find the right words, but I was done listening. I just wanted to leave. I had made my decision. and he was only making it that much harder. If he had told me he loved me long ago, I never would have thought of doing what I was planning. As it was, hearing it now was making this harder.
I was about ready to stand up when I felt his hand on my arm. I looked down at it and then back up to him to tell him to release me, but the look on his face was telling me he wasn't about to let me go, not yet anyways.
"My family's different, Bella. We're not like others. I know you have noticed it too."
"What are you talking about, Edward?"
"You must have wondered way we always look the same, never seem to be ageing. Carlisle is supposed to be in his fifties but he doesn't look a day over thirty. And my mom, well that's not plastic surgery holding the wrinkles at bay. Or even Botox."
I looked away from him; I couldn't think when his gaze was set firmly to mine.
I would have to say that I always wondered about that. I just figured that, since Carlisle was a doctor, he was privy to some special techniques that help stave off the aging processes.
But now that I think about it, there were other things that seemed off as well. The fact that they were always cold and hard to the touch. I never asked, because I felt that was rude. Then, over the years, I just got used to it.
"Bella, what are you thinking?"
I turned back and looked at his face. His perfect face that never seemed to change. When I looked into his eyes, I wanted to know where he got his eye color from. I had never seen such a color before with the exception of his family.
"Edward, why are you eyes a golden caramel color? I have never seen this color on anyone else but your family. Why is that?"
Would he actually tell me the truth? In the pit of my stomach, I wondered if I wanted to know all his secrets.
"And I don't think you would. The reason we have this color is because of our diet."
Hmmmm, what they ate made their eyes that color? Was it some special kind of food? No, I recall sitting down for plenty of meals with his family.
"Edward, how can food change your eye color? What's going on here?"
"Bella, my family and I are vampires."
"What? You are… what?"
It all went blank. I don't want to say that I fainted, because I don't think I did, but the world got kind of fuzzy there for a bit.
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After Edward made his big reveal, and after I had pulled it back together, he continued to tell me about his family. I wasn't sure how long we were outside when he finally took me back into the house. Angela saw us and a look of concern flashed on her face.
I wondered briefly what she saw in my face. Confusion, fear, betrayal? I had no idea what I was feeling at that moment.
"Hey, Bella," she said. "Ummmm, the guys want to take off, so I told them I would find you. Where were you? I couldn't find you. You've been gone for over an hour."
Edward spoke before I had a chance.
"Oh, I'm sorry. We just got caught up talking. I will take care of Bella. You guys go on and enjoy the rest of your evening."
When she looked back at me I just nodded to let her know it was okay. Then Edward led me upstairs to one of the rooms that seemed to have not been decorated for Halloween.
As I stood there looking out the window, down at my leaving friends. I knew I wouldn't be seeing them again.
Angela looked up at the old manor and saw me. After a brief wave, she wiggled her fingers in the phone sign and mouthed call me. I nodded my head but knew I wouldn't be calling her.
The things that Edward had said to me had really thrown me for a loop. I had always known something was different with the Cullen family. I just never expected what it was.
Vampires. Wow. Talk about things that go bump in the night.
I suppose, in a weird way, it made sense. None of them seemed to age in the six years that I have known them. Well, except Alice maybe. Now that I thought about it, she did seem to be pretty crafty with a makeup brush. That would make sense if what Edward told me was true-that she was over 80 years old.
Her boyfriend as I knew him to be turned out to be her husband, Jasper. Twice her age. Edward explained how he had been a major in the Civil War, on the Confederate side.
I couldn't believe Carlisle was nearly 400. Talk about aging gracefully. Well, actually, no. That award would have to go to Emse. Mom extraordinaire. Eighty-eighty years. No wonder she was the perfect mom. Lots and lots and lots of practice.
And Emmett. Turns out he is the baby of the bunch. Even though he looks a lot older then Edward, he's only, oh crap what did Edward say? I can't remember. Something about the '20s or the '30s. I liked Emmett even though he wasn't around a lot. He and Rose, his wife, traveled frequently. She and Emmett have been together for as long as I can remember.
I'll have to ask her one day how she and Emmett met, I decided.
Well, that is if I make it out of here alive tonight. Would they kill me to protect their secret?
Even if they didn't, it still would matter. My life was already over; a few more weeks wouldn't matter.
And my dear sweet Edward, with his messy bronze hair and smoldering caramel eyes. He said the eye color was because they only ate the blood of animals. He's one hundred and six years old. And damn if he still doesn't look fine.
No, no, no! What the hell am I thinking? What is wrong with me? Why am I calling him my sweet? I should be scared. Vampires killed people. Right?
But he said his family did not. I should be terrified. But, for some reason, I wasn't.
Edward told me that we where meant to be together. Said Alice has these visions and saw us together as a family many years ago. They waited until I was older to come back so that their family could stay here longer. The Cullens have always considered me a part of their family, but that was just because Alice and I were friends. Or, at least, I thought.
"What about Alice?" I asked Edward who was sitting on the bed.
"What about her?"
"Was this part of the plan? For her to befriend me so that you could get your hooks into me? Was she ever truly my friend?" I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. I did not want it to be true. I loved Alice like a sister, and for her to use me… well, that was just unthinkable.
"Bella, whatever you're thinking, stop. Alice loves you. She feels as though you are her sister. Her best friend. This was never just about you and me. Alice saw you as one of us. She would be hurt to think that you felt otherwise."
"Well? What am I supposed to think? You spring this shit on me and expect me not to question the last six years of my life? Huh? And why is it that you thought it was a good idea to tell me now? Not years before? Jesus, Edward, how do you expect me to feel? Everyone I have ever loved and trusted is gone. I'm all alone again. Why, why, why? Why did you have to tell me?"
That was it. The tears pour out like a faucet.
"Bella, remember what I said about Alice having visions?"
"Yes. So what?" I cried out before I could stop myself.
"She saw you dead. Lying on a slab in the morgue. Suicide they were saying. I knew I had to stop you. I couldn't lose you. Not when we were so close to having everything."
She saw me? Oh, I get it now. She saw me killing myself that's why he's telling me all this now. He doesn't love me. He just feels pity and guilt, not love.
"Well, Edward," I sighed. " You could have said yourself all this trouble. You didn't have to lie about loving me. It won't change a thing, so don't worry. I won't tell anyone about your family's secrets. In a few weeks. it will be like I never even existed. Because, frankly, I won't exist. I won't be alive to tell anyone about your history."
"No, no…no!" Edward growled. "Why are you being so stubborn about this? I do love you, Bella. I have for a very long time. Do you actually think that I would say I love you just so you wouldn't kill yourself? Lie about my feelings for you to save you?"
"Why? Why now, Edward? Not even year ago, when I needed you? No, you were too busy with your own life to care about what I was going through. So I'm sorry if I don't believe you now. This is my life, and I choose to end it on my terms."
"Because you were not ready, is why I waited, love," he said softly. "Like I said before."
Damn, he was confusing to me. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Why didn't he just leave me alone?
"I wasn't ready for what, Edward?"
"To know. To know our secrets, to be a part of this."
"Oh, I get it. Because I won't be around long enough, you thought it would be okay to give me one last parting gift, one last stab to my heart, knowing that everything I have ever thought about your family… the love, the hope, the kindness… all of that was a big fat fucking lie? Well, fuck you very much!" I screamed out.
I turned to walked towards the door; I had had enough of this bullshit and wanted out. Fuck him and his whole family. I felt like such a big joke.
But I was stopped dead in my tracks when Edward jumped up from the bed and wrapped arms around me. I tried to break free, but he was so strong. I could feel his cold chest pressing against my back.
Part of me was so mad I couldn't see straight, but another part-and I wasn't sure how strong that part was-that wanted to just melt into his arms and simply believe everything he had said to me that night.
"No, Bella. No lies, it was all true. My family loves you. Carlisle and Esme, well you're like a daughter to them. Hearing you say these things would tear them apart. And Alice, please tell me you don't think she would ever lie to you?"
I didn't say anything. I did not want to listen to anything else he had to say but I couldn't help it. He was holding me so tightly almost like I was ready to vanish.
"Yes, I could have told you I loved you from the moment we meet, because I did. I knew you were meant for me even if Alice's visions had not already proved it. I was planning on telling you soon, after the first anniversary. I wanted to tell you sooner, but Alice kept telling us it wasn't time yet. You needed to sort through your life, get over losing your parents, before you could make this kind of commitment. That's what she kept telling me."
As soon as he brought up my parents, I had a question I need to ask.
"So, tell me this, Edward. If Alice is all seeing with these visions and shit, why couldn't she have stopped the accident? Why didn't she save my parents?" And this is what was hurting me the most now. Knowing that she could have seen what had happened and did nothing to stop it.
"Oh, baby, she did. She did! Alice told me what she saw years ago, even before we met you. She tried every way possible to not let it happen. That was the first and last time that she has ever played with fate. She did for you, Bella, because she loves you that much. But no matter what or how she tried to change the future, the outcome was still the same."
I had my answer, not that I like it but I knew Alice. I hate to admit it but I did. What he told me was the truth. She would have done anything to save my parents because she loved them too.
I cried out again as he held me. Whispering in my ear that he loved me and would make everything better for me.
"But how? How are you going to make everything better, Edward? It hurts so badly. I miss them so much," I sobbed.
"I know you do. But it's my time to take care of you now. When Alice told me you had made the choice a few weeks ago to end your life on the anniversary of your parent's death, we knew it was time. That's why I came back. Well, actually, I never left."
Huh? Never left. Brown-eyed orphan girl looks confused and says "huh?"
"What do you mean you never left?"
"Bella, my love. I have been with you the entire time. You couldn't see me. I guess you could say you've had a personal stalker for the last few years. I just couldn't leave you," he told me.
I thought back to the feelings I had over the last few years and how I always felt like someone was watching me, but I wasn't an oh-my-god-someone's-watching-me kind of feeling. It was like I felt protected.
"That was you?" I asked him, needing more.
"Yes, Bella. I was always there to look after you. I couldn't bear the thought of not being around you."
"No… wait. What about when you went off to college?"
"I never went off to college," he chuckled in my ear.
"What? Where did you go then?"
"I was here the whole time, Bella," this time he whispered. "I could never be without you."
"Oh. Here? As in, your house, here?"
"Yes, Bella," he murmured. "Couldn't you feel it? Every time you came over? Didn't you just get that feeling? That you weren't alone anymore? That I was there for you?"
I remember having a strange sense of comfort whenever I had gone to their house when I had thought Edward wasn't there. Thinking back, it felt as if he was there.
How am I just realizing this now? Could it be true? Could everything that had been saying true? Did I want it to be?
I felt his grip on me loosen but he still did not let go of me altogether. Instead, he held onto me in what would be construed as a loving embrace. It felt nice. A part of me wanted to melt into him.
But now what? I wasn't sure. All I knew in that moment that I liked being in his arms and wanted to believe what he said to me.
Unfortunately, the other part wouldn't let me forget what I had been through and how alone I had felt. It wouldn't let me forget my plan. I needed to know what else there was before it was too late.
"Yes, Edward. I felt something," I said. "But know what happens? How does this change anything?"
"Oh Bella, it changes everything. We can be together now. You can't tell me that you never thought of me like that? I could sense your want for me every time I was around you."
"Yes, I did want you. Can't lie about that. But what does that have anything to do with now? After what you have told me, how could it? You're a vampire and I'm just, well… just me. I'm still going to die, Edward. Sooner or later, it will happen."
"It doesn't have to be that way. You could stay with me forever if you wanted to."
Huh? What the hell is he talking about?
"I don't understand. How? Why?" I asked. I wanted to know but would it change my mind?
"Bella, I love you. I don't ever want to be away from you," he said. After a brief pause, he continued. "If you wanted, you could be like me. I mean, I could change you, then we could be together forever. But only if you wanted to join us, in eternity."
"What do you mean 'change me'? I'm not sure how that would work, but wouldn't I still be dead? So what's the difference between being dead completely and being a part of the undead forced to live in this world full of pain? At least, being completely dead, I wouldn't feel anything ever again."
"There is difference. Yes, technically, we don't breathe and our hearts don't beat, but we still feel. We can still love. And I love you, Bella. We could be so good together. Will you let me show you before you make your final decision? Please."
"How, Edward? Show me what?" I begged.
Why was I begging him to show me how we could be? My mind was made up. Wasn't it? Maybe I wasn't so sure. Or maybe I just wanted to feel us together one time.
"Just feel, Bella. Feel what I can do, feel what we can do together. How great we can be together," he whispered into my ear.
I sent shivers down my spine. This time, it wasn't because I was scared or mad. This was a new kind of shiver, one that went straight to my toes.
"Yes, Edward," I moaned, not knowing where it had come from. "Show me, please."
"As you wish, my love. I will show you another way. I want you to choose me, to stay with me forever."
I could feel his lips on the outer edge of my ear. His breath was cool but not cold anymore. I knew now that he did not need to breath, but I could feel his chest expanding rapidly, like he was excited about something. My own breathing had picked up in anticipation of what he was about to show me.
As soon as he moved his lip down the side of my neck, leaving soft kisses, I had a feeling what he was going to show me. Well, at least I hoped, because that would have been the most wonderful thing ever, to be with Edward like that. At least I would be leaving this world knowing I had him this once.
One of his arms was still wrapped around my stomach, and I could feel him tighten it up again, but then quickly loosened up, like he knew it was too tight. His left hand and left my body but only briefly to move up to back of my head. He tugged at my ponytail, and then my hair fell free down my back.
"I always wanted to run my finger through your hair. I looked so soft, now I know it is," he whispers while caressing my hair.
His fingers trailed over to my face, gently caressing my cheek down my jaw. I felt pressure like he was trying to turn my face towards his, so I complied.
I looked up to see his eyes looking back at me. I took in a quick breath, he was so close. I had always wondered what kissing him would be like. His lips always looked so plump and juicy.
He eyes trailed my face from my eyes down to my lips as I did the same. I could see his tongue poke out and lick his lips in what seemed to be anticipation. I unconsciously did the same.
As he lowered his head to mine, he spoke in a hushed town.
"You don't know how long I have wanted to kiss you, Bella."
I closed my eyes, parted my lips just a bit and waited. Soon I would know what his lips would feel like upon mine.
I could feel him closing in on me and then the feel of his cool lips lay upon mine. Hard at first, but then my lips seemed to meld around his. A gentle pull on my bottom lip then a pucker. We continued this way back and forth for a moment. When I felt his tongue sweep across my lip, I opened my mouth to him.
He teased my tongue with his, tasting each other for first time. Slow and smooth, cool but somehow also warming. I felt a moan pass though my throat. This was everything and nothing like I expected my first kiss with Edward to be.
I had to breathe but I didn't want to stop kissing him. Unfortunately, for me I needed to, or else I would have passed out-both from the feelings he was invoking in me and my need for air.
As I pulled back to take in a breath of air, Edward dragged his lips down across my jaw towards the base of my throat leaving a trail of kisses. I tried to catch my breath but I just couldn't get enough air in my lungs as my breathing picked up. I was both excited and nervous as to what he was going to do.
I felt a little nibble under my ear and thought he was going to bite me then, to change me. Yes, at this point I understood how he would change me if I let him. But the question was, did I want him to?
"Edward," I whispered.
"Don't worry my love, not until you tell me," he whispered back. "I would never take you without your permission."
I think I just fell in love with him a little bit more when he said that.
Oh hell, he had just kissed me for the first time, and already I was beyond confused. What do I do? All I knew in that moment was that I wanted more of Edward. I wanted him to show me more, to make me feel things I knew he could only do.
"Please, Edward," I said breathlessly. "Show me."
His hands released their hold on me as he slowly ran them down my arms.
I could feel the coolness of his fingertips as they reach under the hem of my shirt touching my warmed skin. Goosebumps broke out across my stomach and my muscle clenched as he started to pull up my shirt and his hands dragged across my body until I had to raise my arm so he could pull it off of me.
"So beautiful," I heard him say behind me.
My hair was being pulled to the side and over one across towards my right shoulder. His lips where pressing against my left one, as his hands made their way back across my stomach. As his fingers caressed my abdomen, he began to use his tongue, tasting my skin as he kissed his way up my neck.
"You taste so good, Bella. Better than I have ever imagined. And I have very frequently imagined it, tasting you."
His hands gripped my hips and pulled me back tight against his body. I could feel how hard he was pressed against me. Every part of him was hard. I also had wondered from time to time if Edward was well endowed. From the feeling poking my lower back, I would venture to say that answer to that was yes.
Suddenly, I started to panic. I had never been with another man before. In fact, I never even had a second date before. I knew I had to tell Edward. But what if he wouldn't continue? I had to stop this before it went any further.
"I… ummmm… wait… I've... never…" I tried to get out but Edward cut me off.
"I know," he whispered softly into my ear. "If you want me to stop, I will. I want you so bad, but if you're not sure, tell me and I'll stop."
My body was a traitorous thing; I knew my arousal was telling from my hardened nipples to the moisture building in my lower regions. The feelings that he was bringing forth from me I had never felt before. Well, actually some I have. I mean, I am a woman and have pleasured myself before. But the other things, the touches, the soft caresses, I had never had the happiness of knowing and it sure as hell did not want to him to stop.
"No!" I exclaimed, maybe just a little too loudly. "Sorry. I mean… sorry… I just don't want you to stop touching me like this."
"I can feel what my touch is doing to you, Bella. How your body is respond to me, like it knows we are meant to be together," he said in a low husky voice as his hands continued to roam across my body, touching parts of me that no man had ever touched.
He moved one hand up until it was between my breasts resting across my heart.
"I can feel and hear you heart beating, picking up every time I touch you," he said then he gently swiped his thumb across my right nipple, sending a shudder through my body. "Just a little bit faster now. You like how this feels. Don't you, baby?"
"Yes," I moaned out while throwing my head back against his shoulder.
He continued softly caressed my bra covered breast for a moment before I felt his finger dip under the fabric to touch my bare skin. He pulled the cup down and exposed my breast.
I had a fleeting thought, "Thank goodness we were turned away from the window." Didn't need anyone else seeing my naked body. I had always been somewhat ashamed by it.
I moaned again when Edward's fingers found my harden nipple and ever so lightly pinched it. He still had his mouth attached to the side of my neck, kissing and licking up and down across my neck and shoulder.
My body was heating up rather quickly with each new touch, each new sensation that he was bringing out in me. He had told me to just feel and that is what I was doing. Just feeling trying to keep any other thoughts out of my head.
I could feel his left hand moving down off my hip toward my leg, gentle caresses up and down, slowly moving forward to the top of my thigh, not stopping until his hand was right next to my center, which at this point was throbbing, wanting to be touch.
At some point, Edward had managed to remove my bra completely and was taking turns touching and caressing both my breast. I couldn't wait to feel his mouth on them.
"Baby, I can't wait to have you in my mouth. You have such amazing breasts," he said, just as his other hand made contact with my throbbing mound.
A lustful moan escaped my lips at that the contact.
"Oh, Edward," I cried out. He touch was almost too much for me to handle, but I knew I needed more. No, I wanted more.
"Yes, baby," he moaned into my neck. "I can feel what I do to you. Can you feel what you do to me?"
He pressed his hardened member further into my back.
"Yes, I can feel you too. Please, Edward. I need more," I cried out to him.
I knew I was going to change my mind; he was making me want to. I tried to hold it off, but my strength was slowly waning.
Quicker than humanly possible, I was laying on the bed with Edward hovering over me. At some point, he had removed his shirt so that I had a stunning view of his naked chest and broad shoulders.
"You want more, Bella? Tell me what you want," he said as he lowered his face, leaning his forehead across mine.
I could hardly breathe at this point but I knew I had to tell him. He wouldn't move without my say, this much I knew.
"You, Edward. I want you, all of you," I demanded. "Don't stop touching me, please."
He placed his lips across mine, kissing me gently for a moment before trying to deepen it. I took quick gulp of air before his tongue made its way into my mouth.
As he kissed me, I could feel one of his hands making is way down my body. Gently moving across my shoulder and arm, back up gain only run down my collar bone to the middle of my chest where he stroked my nipples.
I arched my back, forcing my breast further into his hand while I pulled in a much needed breath. His lips trailed the same path as his hand did. When I felt his mouth envelop my hard nipple, it shocked me a bit because of the coldness but I felt good none the less. He tongue flicked across it a few times before he switched to the other one, giving it the same attention while his hand cupped and caressed.
I was a panting mess by this point, not sure how much more I could take before I would be seeing the bright stars behind my eyes. The tightening in my stomach and tingling sensation that was taking place in the confines of my underwear was telling it would be happening soon. I had heard of others being able to orgasm with just stimulation to their breast, but never had the pleasure until now.
"Oh god, Edward," I moaned loud.
"Do you like this, Bella? I know I love having your breast in my mouth."
Edward was still hovering above my body, holding himself up off of me with one hand and his knees, but I wanted to feel him on top of me. I lifted my legs and attempted to wrap them around his ass to bring him closer to me. He must have felt what I was trying to do, because he lowered himself gently to lie on top of me.
As soon as I felt him press again my still clothed center, my hips buck up on their own accord.
"Oh my god," I cried out as he ground his hardness against my heated core, sending me over the edge.
"That's it, Bella. I can feel you coming undone. See what I can do to you."
It took a few moments for me to come down from the intense high.
"Yes," I said breathlessly, my eyes still closed just enjoying the feeling that had come over me so suddenly. I wondered what it would be like when he would be touching other parts of my body.
I didn't want him to stop. I hoped I didn't have to wait long to find out.
But I soon felt him lift off of me and quickly opened my eyes to see what was going on.
"Edward?"
I could see him standing at the foot of the bed, his chest heaving as if he was breathing heavily. He eyes were closed and he seemed to have a pained expression on his face. His hands were balled up into fists at the side of his legs. For the first time ever, I was little scared and starting to think that this was all a bad idea.
"Edward?" I said again while lifting up to rest on my elbows. "What's wrong?"
What he said next half excited me but also frightened me.
"I can smell you and its driving me crazy. I don't know how much longer I can hold back, Bella."
"Then don't," I whispered, not sure if I wanted him to hear me or not.
He was holding himself back and I couldn't fathom why. Here I was lead by him to feel him, to learn what he thought we could be together. And my goodness was it great. I wanted more.
But did he? Why would he not touch me where I so wanted him to, wanted him to be the only man to ever touch me there, to touch me like he had, forever…
What? Wait, did I just think that? No, wait, have I changed my mind? Yes, yes I did. I wanted Edward. I wanted him, to be with him always. Forever.
"Edward, I want you. I need you. Please," I begged again.
Please let him know how much I wanted him. These feelings he had invoked in me; I wanted to feel them always.
"I want you too, Bella," he confessed finally looking at me. "But I can't. Not until you tell me. I can't give myself to you, to feel that kind of love if you're just going to leave me. I won't be able to bear it. Please tell me."
"Yes, Edward," I said. "I want you, always."
"Forever?" He asked with a raised brow like he was daring me, almost like he didn't believe me. "Say it, Bella. But only if you mean it."
I stared at him for a few moments, taking in this man, this vampire. And, in that moment, I knew without a doubt that he would heal me. He would make everything better. For me, for us. I would love Edward forever.
"Forever, Edward. Forever."